Alfred and little Ari

They say those that can, do, and those that can't, teach (or become politicians). This isn't really relevant to the UK Coast to Coast walk but I like the sound of it. So who are these Alfred and Ari characters?  

Let's just say Alfred Wainwright was a guy who had a lot of time on his hands. (The wikipedia entry is located at  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_Wainwright ) but I wanted to get behind the public image, and tell you about Alfred the man, the father and the hill walking pioneer. I may get to that some other time. In the meantime let me give you some background about myself. I'll keep it brief in so far as that is possible. 

My early charity work was riddled with adventure, and some dodgy diseases. I was young, handsome and willing to please. I lived a life of far flung places, and many faces. Modesty prevents me saying how many awards I have received (you can look it up on www.nexttogawd.com) but I will say this: Every time I receive an award I always think of little Ari Rastapali, a young Indian boy out of Mumbai I helped back in the day. Poor Ari was born with no legs and no arms which made getting around slightly tricky. Not to mention the danger of daily ablutions. There was one thing he was good at however. And that was rolling. He was the best roller I ever saw. He was a demon on a see-saw. Up and down , down and up, a real dinger. And the answer to his mobility problems was instantly obvious to me. I roped him up using his ears to a horse carriage,  and tied the harness up using a nose clip, put on the blinkers and he has been tied to that carriage ever since. Interestingly enough he learnt to speak horse and is now best friends with a sturdy black steed known as 'Beauty'. They make a living doing tricks and singing songs for tourists ("no nay never no more" is a big favourite) and doing wheelbarrow nixers in the off season. I gave Ari back his life. More importantly I gave him back a reason for living. Sure, those growth stunting drugs are uncomfortable, but considering the alternatives, I felt he had little choice. And little Ari is happy to donate 50% of all income earned to my charity foundation. So that I may help other little Aris fulfil their dreams. Sorry, I digress slightly. Back to the C2C.

In summary, myself as group leader, Vic and Mike intend heading off across the neck of England starting May 18th, 2015. Many adventures I'm sure will occur and be assured that these will all paint me in a heroic light while depicting my travelling companions as being, how shall I say, somewhat limited. I am happy to share these adventures with you, my false friends whom I'm sure through boredom will peruse this blog and feedback with the usual platitudes and insincere encouragement. But that is your choice and my burden.